Oh me, oh my. Anyone else feel like that whole ‘2025 is the year of the snake and there’s a lot of shedding’ is very, VERY true? Anyway, I have some happy reasons for my tardiness (like a positive New York Times review of No New Things! Stoked in an understatement), as well as some less-fun ones I won’t get into.
I dunno about you, but when things feel chaotic or life/the world feels out of our control, I tend to be the type of person who attempts to reclaim some semblance of direction by cleaning house and organizing, be it literally or metaphorically. And usually, that works to reestablish some balance. Can you relate? And sure, I love the whole ‘freeing up space for better or more aligned things,’ but sometimes that can be an insular pursuit, and can be somewhat lonely.
So where do folks who want to declutter, ethically offload (a term I coined way back for finding intended recipients or organizations that will actually use or responsibly recycle the stuff you no longer want), maybe scratch the new-to-me item itch, AND hang with and make some new pals? In this economy? Do I have the answer for you: Hold a Stuff Swap.
The term ‘swap’ isn’t exactly accurate. At least, not the way I do it. There’s no quid pro quo here on things, as in, one doesn’t directly swap an item for another. I’ll get into that more, but one thing that strikes me in all my 20+ years of holding stuff swaps is how intimidated folks are to host one. People message me asking for a blueprint of how I do it, or asking ‘isn’t it a lot of work?’ Well, if that’s you; you’re in luck because no, hosting a stuff swap is not a lot of work, and I’m gonna share my personal blueprint right in this here free post, so you can start stuff swapping wherever you are.
Why Stuff Swaps are the antidote to almost everything that ails you
Swaps are some of my favorite things to host and attend on the planet, because you:
save money by scratching that new-to-you item itch and save hella money
get to socialize with your peeps, meet new people, and nurture and widen your social circle (folks at my swaps have shared business tips, made new friends, and once, I was even set up with someone’s brother)
ethically offload the stuff you no longer want, some of which can be more difficult to get rid of (makeup and beauty products, bras, that perfume you developed an aversion to…these items can be a little tougher to donate, but among friends, even if they’re used, there’s a more forgiving and even eager reception of them)
keep your castoffs from going to the landfill
strengthen your community via creating and expanding your own, and also through the tips shared and organizations you might help donate to afterward
My Stuff Swap Blueprint
Here’s my step-by-step process for hosting a low-stress, high-reward swap. And I promise, it doesn’t involve buying $100 flower arrangements, renting a huge space or springing for one of those heinous balloon sculptures. I’ve held 60-person swaps in apartments that were under 500 square feet and everyone not only lived to tell the tale, they had a rollicking good time.
Be inclusive: I usually do an email invite where I include pretty much every gal I’ve met or know in my relative proximity. Use your discretion on this (I wouldn’t invite the gal from HR or my mortal enemy), but I generally find that if you’ve met someone and vibed with them, they’re thrilled to be included. We’re all looking for more connection and fun things to do that don’t cost a billion dollars. I also encourage people to bring a friend, and just ask that folks RSVP so I know roundabout how many people to expect. Not only does this make for meeting new-to-you people, but it also expands the diversity of sizes and items at the swap. Plus, I’m a connector, so it’s a true joy for me to be as inclusive as possible.
Set some ground rules: Because I live in a smaller space (which is my preference - I love a little space), I never limit the amount of people, but rather limit the volume of items brought. For instance, I generally ask that folks keep the stuff they bring to one bag. Now how large the bag or how many items is up to them, but in my two decades of holding these swaps, I’ve found that a bit of curation in the form of limiting volume makes for a more fun and productive time (and less cleanup and offloading after). If you live in a big space, maybe you want to expand from my one-bag rule. Totally up to you.
Specify the stuff: You’ve probably heard a lot about Clothing Swaps and those are great. I like to expand beyond that because most of us have a lot of items to offload that don’t fit into the apparel category. So for me, here’s what I include in my invite email so folks know what gently-used (or new) items they can bring:
Beauty and grooming products (people have brought massagers, makeup, skincare, haircare, supplements, tea, hot tools, whatever!)
Home stuff (this is an amorphous term, but I’ve had folks get creative with the one-bag rule and bring everything from a chandelier (which got snatched up immediately) to a stand mixer to home cleaners, a vacuum and giant bags of Halloween candy)
Books, physical media and art (someone bring a Sade record already)
Clothes
Shoes, bags, belts and other accessories (think jewelry, bras, lingerie…sky’s the limit, babes)
Pet supplies
Baby and kiddo supplies and clothing
Tech (folks have brought phones, headphones, calculators, food scales, etc)
Supply up sustainably: Even though I throw a lot of gatherings, I tend to not keep disposables around because that’s not my sustainability vibe. That said, I generally find that a post on my local Buy Nothing group gets me stocked up with compostable paper plates and napkins, and recyclable cups for those bigger crowds. You’d be surprised how many people have an excess of these items, and I’ve found people find it charming to eat off of out-of-season Bar Mitzvah- or Christmas-themed paper plates. If you have leftover disposables or enough reusables for everyone, go with those!
Get your snack on: There’s no need to go out and buy a $300 charcuterie board. If that’s your thing, go on with your bad self, but really, you can throw a bomb party with some more sustainable and economical refreshments. If you’re really pinching pennies, you can ask folks to bring a bottle or dish to share. I like to provide some noshes, so I generally get alcoholic and non-alcoholic bevs in recyclable cans and glass, and I have low- or no-packaging savory and sweet veg snacks.
Designate spaces: Based on past experience, it makes sense to have designated spaces by type of item for folks to lay out their items. For my most recent swap, that looked like shirts (usually the most brought items) on the bed, shoes in the sun room, beauty and makeup on the dining room table, etc. And I denote these areas with some simple compostable tape. Then when folks arrive with their bags, I show them the areas and they start to lay out their items accordingly. This makes the swap infinitely more functional. I also have a spot, usually a closet or a closed-off room, for attendees to put their personal effects like coats, purses, and shoes so those items aren’t accidentally mistaken for the spoils of the swap. I do this the night before.
Have name tags: I’ve had swaps where only four of my closest friends came and I’ve had swaps where, no lie, unexpectedly (but delightfully) 60 gals came. Even the most photographic memory would struggle with that much new info, so I’ve found name tags (I also get these on Buy Nothing - just the compostable sticky paper ones people fill out on their own) to be super helpful for fostering more camaraderie and familiarity. Before we start actually swapping, I also like to go thru and introduce everyone with a little tidbit or fun anecdote about how I know them, which I find builds a nice rapport and makes people feel more at ease.
Pick a start time: Out of fairness and also to prevent pandemonium (ha!), I start the actual swapping only after: 1) mostly everyone has arrived (usually an hour or so after the official start time on the invite) and 2) everyone has laid out their stuff in designated areas. This gives people some time to scope out the goodies, and develop rapport with each other. And once the swap starts, it’s a free for all. Nobody swaps items for items directly.
Determine how you’ll ethically offload: No matter how great the swap, there are always items that don’t get snatched up. So you’ll need to determine what you’re gonna do with those. Sometimes, I ask people to take home whatever items they brought that remain. Other times, like this past weekend, I had a secondhand shop nearby that I knew was looking for nicer clothing items, and we bagged them up and brought them there. Other times, I post the remaining items on Buy Nothing and they’re scooped up with a quickness.
And there you have it: My Stuff Swap Blueprint. If you want to improvise or build off of this, pop off! Sometimes I throw on some music and light a candle. Other times I put a bowtie on my cat. Almost always, people linger for long after the actual swap of items to chat and connect and laugh and generally have a grand old time. And that’s the real magic of the stuff swap. At a time when so many of us are saddled with very real existential concerns about the [gestures broadly around] state of the world, the wacky economy, the unstable job market, the clutter surrounding us, looming climate change, pressures to make the holidays magical for everyone, and a very real loneliness crisis, a swap can assuage oh-so many of these woes. I can’t think of many other things that can do that.
So yeah, this is your cue to plan a Stuff Swap now. Tell ‘em Ashlee sent you.
OH, and if you liked this post, you’ll very likely love my new book, No New Things. You can get it everywhere books are sold, in every form imaginable. Katie Couric has called it ‘transformational.’ The New York Times said ‘she’s right’ (meaning me). So, it’s got that going for it. And if you’re already a fan, I’d love to hear about it via a message or a review. It makes my whole damn week hearing how the No New Things approach has helped to make your life more joyful.
Love this idea! When it's a clothing swap the other items are mostly tossed aside and forgotten.
This is such a great idea and I'm going to propose it to some friends! My minimalist boyfriend would be thrilled if I did this (not the swapping so much as the getting rid of stuff).